And I'm still not going to be able to do it just yet. I probably won't be able to fully digest this past weekend until I start flipping through the pictures I took. I'll probably post 'em here. We'll see.
I really want to talk about the amazing moments I saw at PAX, too. Things like people donating $1000+ graphics cards to Child's Play or people tearing up as they explain the impact that Penny Arcade has had on their lives. That's a whole other post on its own.
Plus, this post is already way too long. It's full of rambling and simplifications of theories I have and it does a terrible job conveying what I'm trying to say, but let's just get into it:
The short answer regarding PAX is that it was awesome. I had a ton of fun, and once I got the hang of finding things to do and lining up at the right time, it was just great.
As for the long answer?
Well, let's get abstract for a moment:
I've always been a nerd/geek/what-have-you. I've always been into fantasy and sci-fi genres. I get a kick out of comics and animation and all that crap. Most importantly, I've literally been playing videogames since before I could read. (I used to drive Bryan crazy asking him to read Dragon Quest to me because I was just so gosh darn stubborn and I wanted to play despite the fact that I could not understand a single thing that was going on. Then again, I guess that's still the way I act when I've imported a game, so I guess I haven't learned? Ah well.) But yeah - games are where it's at. Gaming is a love I've always had.
Thinking back to my childhood and adolescence, I can guarantee you that there were far more weekends and vacations spent inside playing games, or reading gaming books or (later on) browsing the internet for gaming content than going out to parties or going for walks or whatever. That's not to say I didn't do those things or that I think wound up being a weirdo because of it. I had a social life and I played sports and all that. But my real passion was always in games. I'd love talking about games with my brothers or my friends. It was great.
But you don't act like this all the time. People like me generally understand that not everybody is interested in what the developer's ending for Chrono Trigger is or how to find the beam sword in the New Mombasa Scarab level of Halo 2. Which is fine, after all - I have other interests and I enjoy talking to people about what they're into. That's fine.
Still, there was never too much of an outlet for that. Even when I would talk with my brothers or my friends, it still felt like it was us alone against the world. Then there's the internet. Sure, you could chat and post with people who have similar feelings on these subjects as you do, but it's never the same. They may be real people, but for all intents and purposes, you're just reading text or watching a video feed or something along those lines. It's not really the same.
Plus, with gamers? Gamers have The Test." Every time a big gamer meets another gamer in the real world, there's always a testing of faith that occurs. You never want to admit you're a huge gamer to somebody you just met who only plays Call of Duty and Madden (not that there's anything wrong with that!) At the same time, you want to make sure that this new stranger knows that you're not just some pantywaist - you've served your time in the gaming trench.
So you give them The Test. You poke and prod, name dropping some games or casually mentioning a genre or series that you're a fan of. You see how they respond, then file that away to pursue during a later moment in the conversation. It's only after you're sure that they're just as into games as you that you can finally open up and start talking like normal people who share a common interest. It's almost like a secret handshake, except that nobody seems to realize that they do it.
I've seen it happen and I've done it myself. Pay attention next time you're introduced to somebody at a party or during an icebreaker. Maybe it's due to years of the gaming community treated as freaks or miscreants. Maybe it's just a social tic that we all share. Whatever it is, we tend to be cautious with these situations. You don't want to show your hand too early and find out your new coworker as just being nice when they said they "really liked Tetris."
But then there's PAX.
And the thing about PAX - and I couldn't have stated it this way until I had experienced it - is that as a gamer it just feels right. It feels like you've been keeping this big secret love between yourself and those close to you but you could never surround yourself with it in the real world. But PAX let's you immerse yourself in your role as a gamer, a nerd, or whatever title you give yourself. It's not just a convention. Gabe and Tycho aren't exaggerating when they describe the whole thing like one big party - that's what it feels like. You've got the people who are listening to the panels over here, while another group just wants to go play some Street Fighter over there, and over to the side you have the lounge where people are just getting together and chatting, gaming or relaxing. And everyone there speaks the same nerd language and everybody there knows where you're coming from.
I talked to people about games, both old and new. I chatted with game developers abI know it's been almost a week since PAX East, but between work and sickness and other things I haven't had a chance to sit down and get my thoughts out.
And I'm still not going to be able to do it just yet. I probably won't be able to fully digest this past weekend until I start flipping through the pictures I took. I'll probably post 'em here. We'll see.
The short answer regarding PAX is that it was awesome. I had a ton of fun, and once I got the hang of finding things to do and lining up at the right time, it was just great.
As for the long answer?
Well, let's get abstract for a moment:
I've always been a nerd/geek/what-have-you. I've always been into fantasy and sci-fi genres. I get a kick out of comics and animation and all that crap. I've literally been playing videogames since before I could read. (I used to drive Bryan crazy asking him to read Dragon Quest to me because I was just so gosh darn stubborn and I wanted to play despite the fact that I could not understand a single thing that was going on. Then again, I guess that's still the way I act when I've imported a game, so I guess I haven't learned? Ah well.)
Thinking back to my childhood and adolescence, I can guarantee you that there were far more weekends and vacations spent inside playing games or reading books or (later on) browsing the internet. Sure, I've always had plenty of friends, but most of the time we would get together and revel in our own nerdery. This was my life and has been for years.
But you don't act like this all the time. People like me generally understand that not everybody is interested in what the developer's ending for Chrono Trigger is or how to find the beam sword in the New Mombasa Scarab level of Halo 2. Which is fine, after all - I have other interests and I enjoy talking to people about what they're into.
Still, there was never too much of an outlet for that. Even when I would talk with my brothers or my friends, it still felt like it was us alone against the world. Then there's the internet. Sure, you could chat and post with people who have similar feelings on these subjects as you do, but it's never the same. They may be real people, but for all intents and purposes, you're just reading text or watching a video feed or something along those lines. It's just not the same as true social interaction.
Plus, with gamers? Gamers have The Test." Every time a big gamer meets another gamer in the real world, there's always a testing of faith that occurs. You never want to admit you're a huge gamer to somebody you just met who only plays Call of Duty and Madden (not that there's anything wrong with that!) At the same time, you want to make sure that this new stranger knows that you're not just some pantywaist - you've served your time in the gaming trench.
So you give them The Test. You poke and prod, name dropping some games or casually mentioning a genre or series that you're a fan of. You see how they respond, then file that away to pursue during a later moment in the conversation. It's only after you're sure that they're just as into games as you that you can finally open up and start talking like normal people who share a common interest. It's almost like a secret handshake, except that nobody seems to realize that they do it.
I've seen it happen and I've done it myself. Pay attention next time you're introduced to somebody at a party or during an icebreaker.
But then there's PAX.
And the thing about PAX - and I couldn't have stated it this way until I had experienced it - is that it feels right. It feels like you've been keeping this big secret love between yourself and those close to you but you could surround yourself with it in the real world. But PAX let's you immerse yourself in your role as a gamer, a comic book nerd, or whatever title you give yourself. It's not just a convention. Gabe and Tycho aren't exaggerating when they describe the whole thing like one big party - that's what it feels like. You've got the people who are listening to the panels over here, while another group just wants to go play some Street Fighter over there, and over to the side you have the lounge where people are just getting together and chatting, gaming or relaxing. And everyone there speaks the same nerd language and everybody there knows where you're coming from. There were fans, comic creators, game developers, and musicians and they were all friendly and open and happy to chat about their favorite games or how much fun they were having at PAX.
During one of the Penny Arcade Q&A sessions, an attendee said that he ran into Wil Wheaton (former Star Trek: Next Generation actor, current all-around geek ambassador and keynote speaker for PAX East). The attendee mentioned that he hadn't been to PAX before, at which point Wil smiled and said to him, "Welcome home."
That's what PAX is. It's not people obsessing over their hobbies or being deviants. It's people getting together for a weekend and celebrating their shared love for the community they've built.
And it just feels right.
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